“But he’s so outside and you’re so inside.”

Those were a mutual friend’s cautionary words in January of 2001 to Bethany after learning the two of us had begun dating. She wasn’t wrong either. It was an unlikely pairing. We ran in different social groups, had different interests and our paths didn’t seem to line up. I was in the last semester of my undergraduate work at Western Illinois University and she was days away from leaving the country for three months to study in Spain (it’s a country). Why not start a long-term relationship?

Out of the blue (to me at least) Beth had invited me to accompany her on a trip to southern Illinois to visit family before she left the country. We casually knew each other through the campus ministry but had never spent any time together before. On our trip down, we talked about everything from future plans, to the frustrating experience I’d just had with another female friend. The old, third grade-kick-you-in-the-shins-because-I-think-I-like-you technique had not worked so well and I was in no hurry to pursue another relationship.

The more we drove, the more we talked. The more we talked the more I realized that not only was this woman beautiful, but she was also sensible, funny and faithful. My resolve to remain single mattered less and less.

On the drive back to Macomb after spending the weekend together, the speakers in the car gave out, creating room for the humming tires and winter air coursing around the vehicle to take over for a few quiet minutes. During that time I considered my new perspectives on Bethany. Ultimately those conclusions led me to state matter-of-factly,

“If you weren’t leaving the country in a few days, you’d be someone I’d consider dating.”

Incredibly romantic, right?

Momentarily stunned, Bethany began to reveal her admiration for me. The rest came so quickly; an intercontinental relationship, a starry night proposal on Gypsy Point above Indian Creek, careers, a dog named Mr. Frodo, our first home, the grief of two unborn babies, advanced degrees, the joy of Sofie and now the anticipated arrival of our son in December. Indeed, an unlikely story all the way around but a sweeter one than I could ever have imagined.

It’s been 14 years today since we said, “I do.” and I’m still outside and Beth is still inside. A solid marriage is built on more than shared interests. Sometimes I think it’d be nice to share a treestand with Beth, but then I think about her shooting a bigger deer than me and I’m content having different pursuits. For us, a commitment to Christ and a willingness to be vulnerable with each other has proven to be key.

It amazes me that the paths of our lives can be influenced by such seemingly inconsequential inputs, like a failed set of car speakers, though when you consider the Author of our lives…unlikely stories seem to be His specialty. Our outside and inside orientations? At one time seen as a liability, they’ve proven to be a non-issue and actually serve as a healthy balance for our children. Who wants to marry a carbon copy of themselves anyway?

To the woman who accepts and encourages me, calls my B.S., mothers our child, loves the rest of my family like her own and tolerates various carcasses around our home; happy anniversary Bethany.

Also this counts as your present.