Why I’m Good With Being Bad at Guitar

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Even my daughter, who didn’t know the song, paused her activity to side-eye the guitar as if it farted.

Working my way through Conway Twitty’s “That’s My Job,” my fingers and brain got their wires crossed and what was supposed to be a C chord fell flat on its face.

I paused, shook my head with a grin, and started over…which is not my usual nature because I HATE TO FAIL. It really sours my mood. In the past, that fear of failure has kept me from taking paths that could have led to some incredible things, but I’ll never know in this lifetime.

So, at 41 years old picking up the guitar for the first time was only secondarily about the music (which I LOVE). Really, it was about finding something to struggle with. Something to be bad at.

I do be killin’ deer. PC: Joe White

Trust me, I’m not trying to sound pompous, but I need to prove a point. There’s a lot of things I’m good at…mostly because I’ve had adequate time to hone my skills. Running, cycling, hockey, fishing, hunting, growing eyebrows. At this point in my life, I feel about new skills like I feel about my music library or friends…I’m pretty satisfied with the current selection.

The problem is, I think that satisfaction stems more from fear than true contentedness. What if I actually like that new band? What if this person ends up becoming a great new buddy? It’s uncomfortable to step outside of what I know. I’ve got my lane (and the mix tape). Why risk the frustration of failure?

Because it’s good for me.

Really, if I only did things I knew I’d succeed at, that cuts out a lot of living, people, and great adventures! Even if I’m not the best, the struggle is part of the fun and learning how to healthily cope with frustration and failure is important. In this git-fiddle-pickin’ process, I’ve actually gotten better at laughing at myself.

So, six months in to my later-in-life run at country music stardom, I can actually play through a handful of songs…which brings me way more gratification than I can express. Songs I grew up with and sang along to on the radio are now “mine” to play.

I’m not great, in fact, compared to my little brother I’m actually bad at guitar; but in light of everything that’s come along with the struggle, I’m good with that. I get the feeling I’m not unique in this desire to cling only to what I know from fear of failure.

Some things that are worth doing are worth doing badly. What do you need to be good with being bad at?